1) If you could be instantly fluent in one other language that you currently do not read or speak, which would it be?
2) If you could have the starring role in any film already made, what would it be?
Prospero in Prospero's Books
3) If you could receive one small package this very moment, who would it be from and what would be in it?
It would be from Peter, and it would contain my copy of Book 2 of Pliny's Historia Naturalis and a convincing explanation
4) If you could own one painting from any collection in the world but were not able to sell it, which work of art would you select?
Van Gogh's Starry Night
5) If you were instantly able to play one musical instrument perfectly that you never have played before, what would it be?
The tromba marina
6) If you could possess one supernatural ability, what would it be?
7) If you had to choose the most valuable thing you ever learned what would it be?
When in doubt, ask
8) If you could have only one piece of furniture in your house, what would it be?
A bath big enough to swim in
9) If you could read the private diary of someone you know personally, whose diary would it be?
No, I shouldn't like to do that
10) If you could have one person you know as your slave well-paid and cared for domestic laborer for one month, who would it be?
11) If you could choose the way you will die, how would you want it to happen?
12) If you could wake up tomorrow to learn that the major newspaper headlines were about you, what would you want them to say?
Tomorrow? what could I possibly have done to make myself newsworthy by then? Oh, let's be wild:
COVENTRY MAN'S BLOOD SAMPLE REVEALS HIV CURE
13) If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would do?
Wonder who'd bought me the ticket, since I don't pay the fooltax
14) If you could choose the music at your funeral, what would it be, and who would play it?
I leave the music at my disposal to the discretion of my friends
15) If you could take away the vocal cords of any person, who would it be?
16) If you had to describe your idea of the perfect mate, how would you do it?
I don't believe in perfection in mates any more than in anything else
17) If you had to have a personal friend redecorate your house, who would you pick to do it?
18) If you had to choose the worst home you've ever lived in, which one was it?
Probably the long-stay psychiatric unit at Naburn Hospital, York
19) If you could have prevented one thing from happening between you and a friend, what would it have been?
My saying a couple of unforgiveable words
20) If you could learn the total number of hours you have spent in your life doing one thing, what would it be?
21) If you had to describe yourself as a child in one word, what would it be?
22) If you could own a single prop from any film ever made what would you choose?
I can't think of anything