June 2nd, 2003


One of the things that's pissing me off

It was a few weeks back, so I can't remember where I read or heard it, but it's been gnawing at me ever since.

I'll have to paraphrase, obviously, but what it boiled down to is: "'Depression' is just a way for people to avoid their responsibilities."

Oh, I just wish it were true. That 'depression' is just some kind of 'Get out of responsibilities free' Monopoly card, that all I have to do is to be upfront about things and say "OK, so I'm an idle shiftless bastard, eat my shorts" and all the misery will go away. No more pills with their damn side effects, no more hours trogging to the hospital to tell my shrink that again, no, I haven't got round to feeling suicidal, no more need to take anxiety and depression management courses. No more guilt about all the things I feel I should be doing for people, no more agonising over commitments I find I can't yet keep, no more fretting about the constant burden of me that people try so hard to carry.

Well, no. So here's my response: "What you said is just shorthand for 'I'm an arrogant, ill-informed callous scumwipe'. I ought to hate you for that, but I don't wish depression on you just so you could find out what it really is like. I'm not that much of a bastard."
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