November 27th, 2005


me like cake

I am a good cook but a lousy cakemaker. I commit farcical sponges. Countries have renounced the use of my pastry in warfare. However, this cake recipe is so very easy that even I can commit it successfully. And it is delicious.

Tonight was the first time that I baked it. juudes kindly gave me the recipe (which came from Dave's Mum) some weeks ago, having fed me, stgpcm and mrph on it. (Jeff-WINOLJ would have had some too, but he was unexpected and therefore there was none left.) I hadn't felt the desire to perpetrate baked goods for a while, but I was seized – seized, I tell you – with the urge this afternoon, and despite the drugs and the spiritual exercises I succumbed.

Should you desire to wreak this confection upon the innocents, you will need:

8 oz sugar
5 oz softened butter (you should only use margarine if you're dairy/lactose intolerant or a vegan)
8 oz self-raising flour
1.5 tsp baking powder
1 tsp almond or vanilla essence
2 large eggs (read baratron's comments)
2 large Bramleys or other cooking apples, peeled, cored and sliced

A mixing bowl, a mixing spoon, an 8-inch cake tin, a timing device, an oven, fuel or electrons or whatever your oven eats, either your own body or a willing slave, a kitchen, gravity, some reasonable kind of spacetime.

Heat your oven to Gas mark 2, 150 Celsius, 300 Fahrenheit, 423 Kelvin or whatever. If you're using a fan oven, apply the relevant cooling correction to the given temperature. Mix all the ingredients together except the apples. Spread a third of the mix on the base of the cake tin and cover it with a layer of apple slices. Add the remaining mix in spoonfuls; it will spread out and rise as it cooks. Bake for 90 minutes, covering after the first hour to avoid excessive browning.

Allow to cool, or burn your hands and lips if you're a greedy-guts. Eat it. Don't blame me if you think it's delicious. It is.