Muddle-headed Kay (mhw) wrote,
Muddle-headed Kay
mhw

This journal has been placed in memorial status. New entries cannot be posted to it.

  • Mood:
Wugh, I feel lousy.

The back was bad enough last night that I didn't get to sleep until after 6am, and that only after way too many drugs. A little sleep, then up again to do more on the Current Practice paper, which now seems to be finished even to my picky mind. Now I only have to finish Best Practice/DELPHI and the report, work on the grant proposal some more, finish the report, start getting stuff together for the September conference in Birmingham, get stuff ready for the next Protocol Meeting at the start of next month, and no doubt a few other things that somehow have escaped my mind.

I'm literally in two minds about it all. One mind is being calm and rational, and telling me that all I need to do is to take it a little at a time, to destress, eat a little, take breaks now and again, and it'll all come right, and that most of it isn't stuff that will bring about the Eschaton anyway. The other is panicking and whimpering and desperately trying to find ways of not having to do all this, because it's not fair, dammit, none of it's my responsibility, I'm only doing this to help people out, I should just tell everyone to fuck off and leave me alone.

Both minds are wrong. I know that. I just haven't the energy to work out how.
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