Muddle-headed Kay (mhw) wrote,
Muddle-headed Kay

This journal has been placed in memorial status. New entries cannot be posted to it.

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Kind of update sort of thing

It's not actually been so good a week - not bad, but not so good. I think that last week I made the cardinal error of pain relief: thinking that because you can't feel the pain, then you're not actually broken. That goes just as much for the mental state as the physical. Citalopram and fentanyl are very very good for surviving the problems of my head and back, respectively, but there are fundamental brokennesses underneath still, and I'm not robust enough to be doing as much as I want, and - more to the point - as much as the drugs have been letting me get away with for a while.

So this week I've had to face up to the fact that I have to stop and flop if I don't want to crash and burn. I've been overdoing things, I now recognise, and gone well beyond my current safe capabilities. You may all now nod sagely and say "Silly lad, I warned you...", because you did, and I know you did, and I was an idiot not to pay more attention to what you were saying.

Therefore, people to whom I've promised stuff, either explicitly or implicitly, I'm afraid I shan't be delivering as much or as quickly as I'd hoped, and may have given you cause to hope. I'm not dropping anything completely, but I shall definitely be taking things more sanely for my own sake. You're not to blame; there's not much point in doing blame, but if anyone has to be responsible for how I am, it's me.

On to more cheerful stuff: Mum is recuperating wonderfully. She was thrilled when I told her that there were people all round the world wishing her well, and she sends her thanks to you all. youngatheart is not so good, but I'm trying to support her and her family as well as I can, within my limitations. Justin is, as always, wonderful beyond words.

Oh - another question... I'm wanting to make some 'on hold' music for a telephone system. Obviously there's the limited bandwidth to take into consideration, but are there any other issues - any at all, really - that I should be thinking about?

I now need to go and do some laundry - alas, this week has needed extra pain relief, with some of the predictable morphine side effects. Clothes that needed washing are now in urgent need of washing: ick. And I have dried mushrooms - boletus and chanterelles - soaking in tepid water. I'm as yet undecided whether they'll become mushroom soup (a nice idea in the currently cold weather) or mushroom sauce for pasta; whichever, I'm looking forward to eating them. Then I'll go and do a little more reading of x_mass' paper - BTW, Kate, don't forget the printed copy; if you have sent it, it hasn't arrived yet - and then perhaps a nap and a little more Ranulf plotting.

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