A man died, and went before the Recording Angel. The Angel consulted the Book of Life, and sighed: "Right on the line; not good enough for Heaven, not bad enough for Hell. You have to choose where you'll spend Eternity."
The man considered this, then said "We only get rumours of these places on Earth, you know - have you any tourist brochures, so that I can see what they're really like?"
The Angel obligingly produced them, and after a little consideration the man said that he'd prefer Hell. This surprised the Angel, who said that in its experience most people liked Heaven better.
"Ah," said the man, "but, you see, on Earth I was a keen sportsman, and Hell has by far the better recreation facilities; so, Hell it is, please."
"But we have superlative sports in Heaven!" exclaimed the Angel. "How could Hell be better? We have golf, cricket, croquet, skydiving - we do that all the time - and people particularly enjoy our Ocean of Love. Thousands of miles of golden beaches, and oh! the endless rolling sapphire breakers! It makes Bondi look like a kid's paddling pool!"
"It sounds good, I'll grant you that," the man admitted, "but I liked mountaineering best of all, and Hell has pinnacles of razor-sharp basalt; vast ice-cliffs; unscalable mountains. That's got to beat surfing, any day - as they say, better terrain in Hell than surf in Heaven!"
*runs away fast*