nervousI think I've seen too many calendrical revolutions to be particularly affected by them any more. I don't make New Year Resolutions or anything like that. It'd be nice to be able to feel optimistic about the future, but I can't summon up more than a somewhat nervous "Well, we shall have to see how it goes."
This is certainly going to start as a year of tough personal effort, at least. 40-some sessions of psychotherapy have left me with, more than anything else, a deep realisation of how much work I'll have to put in before I'm anything like functional in the ways that I want to be. Some things need a different kind of work from what can be done in the (for me) relatively comfortable space of a therapist's room, and that's what I've been trying to tell my associated healthcare people ever since I finished therapy. I really didn't expect it to be so hard to make them understand what I think I need, but I'm beginning to understand just how clue-short the psych/med professions can be about Social Anxiety.
So: next Monday I start at Willow View, our local Non-resident Acute Day Service. Five days a week for the first two weeks, then "as needed". Half the time I'm shitting myself at the prospect; the rest of the time I'm more "Well, if it works out it's going to be just the thing I need."
I'll just have to see how it goes.
