I'm really not looking forward to Sunday, Fathers' Day, the first one since he died.
His birthday last year was only a week after his death, so I was still numb. At Christmas I could distract myself with the rest of the family.
Now, with all the Fathers' Day stuff in the shops and on the media, it feels like I'm surrounded by the word 'Father', and it really hurts, not having someone to choose a card for and make a 'phone call to on Sunday.
I'm trying not to be self-indulgent with my feelings of loss, but it's tough.
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