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Thank you, and a bit of progress - 雪見オナニー — LiveJournal
These fragments I have shored against my ruins
August 2011

Muddle-headed Kay
Date: 2011-05-19 16:26
Subject: Thank you, and a bit of progress
Clearance: Public
Thank you, everyone who sent messages of love and support. Very, very much appreciated, believe me!

I saw Jerry, my GP, today about the mess of problems. It's a matter of working out which bit to work on changing first, since the depression, anxiety, insomnia, fatigue and pain all feed off and reinforce each other. So, first step: from today, increasing my bedtime antidepressant from 30 mg mirtazapine to 45mg. This may improve my mood, help me sleep, encourage my appetite and - just possibly - being a NaSSA it may help synergistically with my pain.

I'm to check in with him in no more than a month's time to review progress. If my pain is still bad then, he'll up my fentanyl dose from 50 μg to 75 μg/hr. If so, hopefully I'll be able to shift my morphine intake back down again to more sensible levels.

He's also going to chase up the pain clinic to find out why I haven't had even a review from them in three years, let alone any treatment. I know that their service was seriously dislocated when Richard Walker had to retire suddenly on health grounds, but... three years is a long time to live without effective support. Yes, I probably should have yelled about it earlier, but it wasn't until the beginning of this year that the pain started to get noticeably and progressively less easy to bear.

Anyway. Progress, to some extent, and the knowledge that I've done the right thing in yelling for help, even if I did take too long about doing so :)

Special thanks to the wonderful l0u_1s3, everyone at Willow View (especially Bet, Ben, Sylv and Caroline) and most of all my amazing and lovely stgpcm.
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User: valkyriekaren
Date: 2011-05-19 15:42 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Good luck with it!
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User: barakta
Date: 2011-05-19 17:11 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Missed saying hello to you yesterday. Glad your GP is on board.

Am very sad to see your pain is so bad and you've not been seen by pain clinic recently - utterly unacceptable whatever their constraints are. Glad Jerry is kicking their arse, cos we don't half get tired of it eh?

Hope immediate med changes start to help and if not you can go back to Jerry and try plans B and C and so on.

I think sometimes we're so busy gritting our teeth that we don't realise it's unbearable until it's beyond the sense making point.
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User: badriya
Date: 2011-05-19 22:07 (UTC)
Subject: depression, anxiety, insomnia, fatigue and pain all feed off and reinforce each other.
That sounds very like bluerose's symptoms. He is allergic to morphine though. Most of the other meds he is on have side effects too. If you read the leaflets some of the things for depression give depression as a possible side effect!

He managed to get referred for physio and when he is well enough to go that does help a little. You can only get 6 sessions on the NHS though and then have to pay.

I do hope you manage to sleep more. That does make a huge difference. My best wishes for both you and stgpcm.
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Bethan: bl00 hair
User: bethanthepurple
Date: 2011-05-19 22:13 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:bl00 hair
Well done you. Keep being super xxxx
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User: artremis
Date: 2011-05-19 22:55 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
glad there is a sensible plan - hoping it works smoothly and quickly.
Lots of good thoughts
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User: beaupepys
Date: 2011-05-22 15:45 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Know it's a while since I last checked in; glad to hear you're starting to get things sorted out and hope they continue to improve.
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User: katherinedeane
Date: 2011-05-25 16:39 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Glad you have gotten good help. Many more hugs. K
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User: stgpcm
Date: 2011-07-07 15:26 (UTC)
Subject: Kay died last night
fell asleep reading a book, and never woke up. I'm sure it's how he would have chosen to go
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(no subject) - (Anonymous)
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