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The genesis of crop circles...
Thanks to the augmentation of Google's archives, I've been able to retrieve a sarky rant I wrote in alt.alien.visitors back in 1991.
It may make you grin. Maybe not.
In article <&$'&&email@example.com> firstname.lastname@example.org (Robert Low) writes:
>I am in the position of being able to explain the TRUE REASON ofr
>corn circles!!!! Aliens from inside the HOLLOW PLANET of VENUS come
>here in their UFOs and form the patterns in corn fields. In
>order to confuse us, and so that only the ENLIGHTENED know
>what they are, they then kidnap and HYPNOTIZE local villagers
>into thinking that they did it themselves.
>As if any further proof were needed, this is JUST WHAT WE SEE
>when the villagers are interviewed!!!!!!!!>(Now, would I lie?)Well....
Maybe not lie, but certainly mislead. Now, I'm not saying you're
doing it deliberately - you poor Conspiracy dupe, you - but some
of your assertions are DEAD WRONG.
1) The inhabitants of Venus are not aliens. They are the remnants of the GREAT WHITE MASTERS who left Tibet (or ATLANTIS - the records are obscure!!!?!?) after the Great High POOH-BAH of the Order spilled ectoplasm over the Akashic Records after a particularly difficult manifestation.
2) Venus is not hollow. At least, not in the "mundane sense". Hoerbiger's WORLD-ICE THEORY explains all this quite satisfactorily.
3) Crop-circles are in fact part of the GREAT WOK - a long and terribly important magickal enterprise which will ultimately result in the IMMANENTISATION of the ESCHATON. Yes, they are being produced by mindless dupes - but, far from being quiet Suffolk rural people, they are in fact ZOMBI YTS TRAINEES fed on HASHEESH and LARK'S TONGUES by an underground group of the ELECT known only as the DEVIANTS (who are so terribly secretive that even the members don't realise what they are doing - YOU can gain access to this terrible and perverted branch of the Illuminati by mailing to the High Clench-Master-or-Mistress-depending-upon-the-phase-of-the-Moon at email@example.com, with the word FNORD in the Subject: line). The GREAT WOK is very nearly completed, and once again the world will be openly ruled by the ELECT (The Illuminati, the Rosicrucians, the Knights Templar, the Knights of Malta, the Broederbond, the CIA, the Knights of Steamy Passion in a Sauna, the Maoists, the Taoists, the Order of Sushi in a Bun, Blumencraft and Morgenstern Inc, the Maltesers, the Pink Boys for "Bob", Eris Upthrusting, Nestle SA, Novus Ordo Saeclorum, the Deviants, the OTO, the Silver Star, the Golden Dawn, the Hermeticists, the Sisters of Our Lady of Perpetual Motion, Sodom Hall, Annuit Coeptis, Great Cthulhu's Starry Wisdom Band, The Namers of the Rose, the OTT, the RCP, the FTP, the NSA, EIEIO (The Fast-Food Liberation Front), John Dee II, X.400, The Cointe of Minty Crisco (TM), Ahasuerus, Madame Sosostris, Et In Arcade-gamia Ego, the Space-time Invaders, Hoot Khoomi, the X-ists, NATO's Office Nine, the Temple ov Psychick Youth, Yog-Sothoth, The Chateau Nugeau Tcho-Tcho, The Ministry of Certain Things, Nigel Kennedy, the South Island of New Zealand, Umberto Eco, Helena Blavatsky, Aleister Crowley, A E Waite, Jacques de Molay (WHO SHALL BE AVENGED), and Thomas Stearne Eliot). The Great Wok will be consummated in Notre-Dame, Paris, sometime soon. Book early to avoid disappointment, and remember to bring either Foucault's Pudendum, a Piston-Engine, or a lost Manuscript of Aristotle.
Don't say you haven't been warned.
PS: The "'The Illuminati Conspiracy' is an Illuminati Conspiracy" is an Illuminati Conspiracy. Man, we have seen the FNORDS, and they is us.
PPS: For 'Wok', read 'Wok' throughout. Verb. sap. suff.
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