Muddle-headed Kay (mhw) wrote,
Muddle-headed Kay

This journal has been placed in memorial status. New entries cannot be posted to it.

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You know that kind of "I don't know what the heck it is but I'm not bored and I'm not sick and I'm not sad and actually there's nothing I could put a finger on, but, you know, I just feel... *shrug*" shrug people do?

Watch me do it: *shrug*.

Today has, for all kinds of reasons, been pretty much a washout. What could go wrongish, did. Not in any way I could reasonably be even mildly irked about, but nothing's gelled, nothing's done, nothing's right. And tomorrow I shall have to miss Tamar for the first time, because I just have no transport back, since Karen is still too ill to drive, and Chris (the guy I mentioned last week) will be expecting me to be there, and I'm worried in case he feels let down. I think I'll phone Jane, my Designated Nurse, tomorrow and apologise for my absence, and ask if she wouldn't mind passing on my best wishes and apologies to Chris when the Confidence Building group meets.

I'm sure I'll survive missing one CB session, but in some ways Tamar's one of my lifelines, and knowing I'll have to do without it for a week, particularly since there wasn't a formal session last time, doesn't so much make me anxious as leave me feeling more exposed, more vulnerable.

Today would have been my first Back To Life session, too, if they hadn't decided that a simple thing like arranging transport for someone who can't do without it is a Big Problem. Two steps forward, one back, but that still leaves me with one step gained, doesn't it?

I could write tonight, but I lack the energy. The thinking is good, but the getting it out onto disk I'm just not up to. I need something rewarding, but only mechanically stimulating. I've finished Choir 3 of SinA, so perhaps I could start on Choir 4.

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